Sometimes things are not real until they are said, out loud, to others. For me, the fact that H and I are getting divorced didn't feel real until I told an almost complete stranger. I was at a party over Labor Day weekend and was chatting with a friend of the host. The next thing I know, I am telling her that I am about to go through what I fear will be an ugly divorce...There it was, the words hanging in the warm end of summer air that was full of laughter and the scent of grilled food..
The reality is setting in. I am about to divorce my husband, the father of my child. We didn't even make it to our 5 year anniversary. So common, yet so cliche'. I am facing being a single mom, single with a capital S.
The funny thing is, the transition so far, feels seamless. H moved out in June and QT has been going back and forth since. Being alone doesn't feel odd or lonely as H travels alot, so I was home on my own a good chunk of the time..The difficulties for me revolve around being away from QT for more than an overnight, I start to get anxious and uneasy..Also from the feeling that I failed. I failed at being married. As most of us are, I am NOT good at failing. But on this one, I have to accept it and move along.
And what exactly does "moving along" mean? I have no effing clue..
So, come with me and lets figure this out together, shall we? Ill grab the gin, you bring the vermouth.